Those Dreaded Words
I know I’m not alone here, fellas. You’ve heard it. I’ve heard it. Every man whose known the touch of the ladies has heard it. Shit, even those who haven’t probably heard it too. Yes, I’m talking about "that time of the month." These little words send shivers down the spine of the entire, hetero-male species.
Now, I’ve been in my fair share of relationships, and in every one of them, I’ve been handed the same bullshit speech from each of the [very -Ed.] lucky ladies to be by my side.
Oh Michael, you’re so lucky to be with me, because I’m one of those girls who has a very short, almost undetectable period, and I don’t get moody or grouchy at all! And all the while, I have the sexual appetite of a starving child in a third-world country. Take me now! Tee-hee! -Every One of Michael’s Girlfriends
Bullshit! Every lady that’s tricked me into believing these horrible fabrications has been the most raging, hormonal-driven beast I’ve ever set my eyes upon, and their only intention during this hellacious time of the month was either the total abandonment of my wang, permanent emotional scarring on my part, or both in heavy doses.
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